As you age, you develop your own attachment style based largely on the attachment behaviors you learned as a child. It’s not uncommon for children to grow up with insufficient personal attention suffering from a lack of emotional nurture, perhaps for their entire lives. Being bonded with a loving person is a need like food and water. Often those of us who have been emotionally malnourished as children minimize or deny this.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone who is experiencing trauma is to help them process their grief through attunement, validation and affirmation. Not exclusive to the counseling setting, you have what it takes to help others, even if they are feeling too overwhelmed to process their feelings. God has so incredibly wired us to draw strength from others. When we experience attunement connection with others through empathy, validation and affirmation, we can temporarily share the neurological, emotional and spiritual resources of stronger individuals.
There is power in humor, maybe more than we even realize. In desperate situations, it has been humor that has provided endurance and perseverance. Possessing a sense of humor has multi-faceted benefits. It has been proven to be beneficial not just mentally but emotionally and physically as well.
Maturing into self-acceptance is an intentional choice and in its beginning stages of walking out, every vile thought and belief you have about yourself will rise to the surface. This journey is not for the faint of heart and will be a process in unlearning habits, patterns and defaults that you resort to as automatic responses. In order for you to enjoy the freedoms that Jesus purchased for you on the cross, it’s a necessary step, one that He will walk with you along the way.
The idea of limits eliminates the potential of over-committing and under-delivering. If we invest more than is necessary in a problem or we are working harder to help someone than they are working themselves, we are over-committing. When we are practicing good boundaries, we know and are aware of our limits and limitations. There is a limit to capacity. There are no limitations to potential.
As I was thinking about writing this blog, I thought about my hike and the subject of boundaries I was writing on. If I could depict a picture of boundaries and the freedom that they give, it would be akin to this hiking experience. Before me was this beautiful open setting with a trail that led me up the mountain defining where I could go and not go, what my limits and limitations were. The boundaries before me created and opened up space for me to fully enjoy the beauty that was surrounding me.
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