“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Given all that is happening in the world today; “shelter-in-place” isolation, future uncertainty, job losses; numbing doesn’t sound like a bad idea. With the current circumstances, comes a lot of feels, perhaps more than we know what to do with! What do we do with these emotions, how do we handle them, sort them out and where do we put them?

There are at least two ways emotions affect us: they are either too close or too far away. If they are too close then we feel overwhelmed. If they are too far away, we feel disconnected, cut off from ourselves and others. To face our emotions, we must learn to embrace them without judgment; creating a safe place within ourselves. Our emotions are good information. They are neither good nor bad – they are simply indicators that something is going on, something needs our attention and numbing is not the answer to our emotions. If we don’t deal with them, face them and embrace them, they will show up in other ways; knee jerk reactions, overreactions, intense anger or anxiety.

Learning to embrace your emotions and let them speak to you is a gift that you can give to yourself. Proverbs tells us to guard the affections of our hearts, for they affect all that we are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being (4:23 TPT). We do this by embracing our emotions, staying present with ourselves instead of numbing out. When we numb out, as Brené Brown describes, we numb the good emotions as well as the negative emotions. But how do we do this? How do we embrace our emotions, befriending them? We change our perspective. We treat them as good information that needs some attention. For those of us who were not taught to embrace our emotions (which is true for most of us), they can be intimidating or feel threatening, cause us to become overwhelmed or we can numb out.

Perhaps we let our feelings be known growing up and they were met with an inadequate response; anger, rage, pity, shame-based motivation or humiliating barbs. These responses formed our beliefs about our emotions and their validity. As a means of survival, many of us put our emotions away and with it our heart and never learned its value; we never learned how to embrace and befriend them. It’s time to change the tide. When we embrace and befriend our emotions, we control them, they do not control us but are rather good information.

How do I know if my emotions are too close? Oh, we know! They feel right on top of you suffocating you leaving you gasping for breath. You find yourself defaulting into victim mode blurting out excuses of why it’s not your fault. Maybe you like to feel sorry for yourself throwing a pity party or you feel just plain helpless. When you are feeling as if your emotions are choking you, ask them to step back. Sound crazy? You have control over your emotions, your emotions do not have to control you. It’s good to remember that you are not your emotions. Create a safe space within yourself without judgment and allow yourself to feel your emotions. Ask Jesus to come and be with you in your emotions. Ask Him to lift the burden of your emotions and then begin to ask questions of them. What do your emotions need? Do they need acknowledgment, compassion or empathy?

You are too far from your emotions when you blame others, ignore your emotions and live in denial or you find yourself keeping busy to avoid. In a sense, you are rejecting yourself, creating internal distance. It’s important to remember, these emotions won’t go away, they’ll simply show up in another situation through depression, restlessness or disconnection. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms embrace them and identify in a nonjudgmental attitude what you’re distancing yourself from. Ask questions of yourself. Why do I want to avoid this emotion that I am feeling? What am I afraid of? Ask Jesus to come and be with you

As you navigate these unpredictable times, be kind to yourself, listen to your emotions – what is your heart saying? What do they need? Are they too far away? Do they need to come closer so you can come present and connect?

Invite Jesus to be with you as you are embracing and befriending your emotions.