An introvert’s dreamland is an extrovert’s nightmare!

During this time of “shelter in place” we are in, you may be facing a whole myriad of emotions; one minute you feel like “I’ve got this,” the next moment you feel lost and directionless. 

Some people are handling this just fine, especially if you are an introvert. An introvert draws their energy from “downtime,” time spent alone. Too much time (on the continuum) spent in the company of others can cause you to feel drained, overwhelmed and exhausted. Spending time alone helps you to bounce back to face the world again…and people.

For the extroverts in the world, this can feel like a complete endless nightmare. I mean after all, what extrovert doesn’t like a good party with lots of people? Extroverts recharge their emotional battery through personal interaction and being in the company of others. They don’t even necessarily have to talk to them, just being in the presence of people and activity keeps the fires going. 

Given the current climate in the world, we are all feeling the effects of “shelter in place” differently. For some, not much has changed. Your life continues to be the same, following a routined consistent schedule along with having purchased more toilet paper than you know what to do with. But for others, your whole world has been turned upside down; finding yourself without a job, bills are mounting and the future is uncertain. Many of you have gladly or with fear and trembling found yourself taking on the role of “teacher” (we now have a greater appreciation for our teachers!), entertainer, caretaker or unemployed. Many of you are feeling aimless, directionless, overwhelmed and downright bored. The novelty of social distancing has taken its toll; regardless of the “vert” that you are. Given these circumstances, it would not be unusual for you to experience emotions rising to the surface like anger, feeling out of sorts, trouble breathing, sleepless nights, upset tummy or impending doom like you are in the middle of a torrential rainstorm with no umbrella. 

Living in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic has caused many of us to cycle through the stress response designed to protect us from a threat. To survive, your brain’s limbic system, including the amygdala, shuts down the thinking part of your brain and automatically responds at the moment. It chooses a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response based on what helped you survive in the past. We are all experiencing unknown territory; we have never been through this before. As a result, we are all attempting to cycle through a stressful situation that we do not recognize, trying to figure out which response is the most beneficial. 

Of the fight or flight, our first response will be to choose fight, if that doesn’t work we will choose flight. If we have nothing to fight and nothing to flee our parasympathetic nervous system will freeze. As you evaluate your emotions it’s good information to identify which category you are in:  Fight can be seen as anger, anxiety, adrenaline rush. Flight can be seen as overexcitement, unable to sit down and relax, overworking and rushing around. Freeze is depression, sadness, ambivalence, apathy or numbness, spacing out and being a couch potato. Fawning are characteristics found in codependency, people-pleasing, unable to say how you think or feel.  

So what can you do about this? How do you bring your mind, body, and spirit back to homeostasis to weather the pandemic storm that creates within you a stable foundation bringing your emotions into a better balance? As I have maneuvered my way through this pandemic I am learning the importance of keeping some semblance of structure to my day with intentional routines. I engage in the practices listed below for good self-care. When I am feeling lonely or I miss my friends and family I reach out and make contact through FaceTime or Zoom. Just as this too shall pass, I want to make the most of the “shelter in place” time that has been created finding the benefits in slowing my roll, learning to stop and smell the roses along the way.  

10 Practices for Good Self-Care

1. Practice mindfulness – practicing the art of creating space for yourself – space to think, space to breathe and space between yourself and your reactions; with no judgment of your thoughts. 
2. Practice meditation/prayer. Give God your worries and stress and leave them there at His feet and He will tenderly care for you.  
3. Practice gratefulness – this releases oxytocin in the brain which is the “cuddle” hormone – bonding to love.  “So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising Him always…and the God of peace will be with you in all things.”(Philippians 4:8-9)
4. Practice mindful 4-7-8 breathing also known as “relaxing breath.” This involves breathing in from the diaphragm for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. This breathing pattern aims to reduce anxiety or help you get to sleep. 
5. Practice patience and kindness with yourself and others. Allow yourself to feel emotions without judging yourself. Instead ask, “What do you need?”
6. Refrain from “catastrophizing” – become aware of your internal dialogue: “We are all doing to die,” “this is only going to get worse.” Write your negative thoughts down and then speak the truth to them. 
7. Get good sleep. If you find yourself wearing out faster than usual, you’re in good company. The heightened anxiety, swinging emotions, changes to routine, extra steps needed to complete basic tasks, readjusting to a new normal, spending more time inside — all of these drain your batteries faster than usual. 
8. Get outside and enjoy the sunshine (if possible). Spending time in nature has been shown to have stress-relieving benefits – a benefit that lingers.
9. Exercise. A good hard workout with intensity reminds us we can do hard things and survive. Exerting energy with intensity releases your happy hormones, leaving you a feeling of exhilaration. 
10. Eat clean. Your gut is your third brain. 

We are all in this together. The last pandemic was over 100 years ago; so it’s safe to say this is unchartered territory for all of us. Let’s be patient with ourselves as we navigate these new waters. Let’s be kind to others as they are experiencing many of the same emotions we are – no one is immune. If you need to call someone, do it.